10 Tips for Loving Yourself on Valentine’s Day and Beyond  


Based on the framework of bell hooks’ ‘All about Love’, we give you 10 tips (and a bonus) for self-love on Valentine’s Day and beyond. bell hooks describes love as not simply a noun but an action so let’s get ready for ACTION!

self love

  • Tell your best friend or partner a secret you’ve never told anybody!

Or just something that’s hard for you to share. Being vulnerable helps to advance relationships and releases our soul of heavy thoughts. Take that step towards strengthening bonds with others who can support you.


  • Write daily affirmations!

Remember the saying “speak it into existence”? What better way to do so than to write exactly what you plan to conquer and how you plan to do it. What better way to do it than by reminding yourself of why you’re awesome? When you’re having a bad hair day – tell yourself ‘I am fierce’. When you’re getting ready for a big interview – tell yourself ‘I am #blackgirlmagic’. Whatever language works for you to feel like Cookie – write it down and say it 3 times!


  • Have great sex!

Do we need to elaborate on this? We all know the benefits of sex and intimacy in regard to destressing. In the words of Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde, “sex releases endorphins and endorphins make people happy”. Let someone show you love intimately and release some endorphins to achieve happiness. And if you don’t have someone, the best thing is this can always be a solo gig 😉


  • Start talking!

Make conversation with a woman that you’re not already friends with. Sometimes it takes a perfect stranger to affirm us for us to believe it. Speaking with other and connecting with experiences of those you don’t know is not only a great way to network but also a great way to see how amazing you are.


  • Treat Yourself (on a Budget)!

It is important to know that treating yourself can be free!!! While expensive trips and shopping sprees are nice, it still reinforces this idea of happiness being attached to material things, which we want to avoid.


  • Partake in physical activity that feels good to you!

Whether it is dancing, yoga, cross fit or eating that is your thing, make sure you are taking time out of your busy schedule to do it.


  • Reflect on gratitude daily!

It is so easy to focus your energy on all the things that are not right in your life, we invite you to shift your thinking and reflect on what you are grateful for daily. This can be certain people and/or moments in your life.


  • Read and/or listen to a good book!

We personally recommend Shonda Rhimes’ ‘A Year of Yes’ and bell hooks’ ‘All about Love’.


  • Limit your social media use!

If at all possible, limit your social media usage OR be intentional about who you are following. Some people are just downright toxic and only serve to make us compare ourselves.


  • Get Right with your Spirit!

Whether that is through prayer or mediation, take some time to get right with yourself spiritually. As Black Womyn, our day to day may consist of us justifying our humanity, which is exhausting. Mediating allows us to reconnect with ourselves in ways that the world does not.


Join an online woman centered community!

How about Black Womyn Speak? Yes, shameless plug. Check us out on Facebook or Twitter.

Dress Up for Yourself!

No such thing as being overdressed: Not sure about y’all, but we love getting dressed up and if you are like us, we encourage y’all to get up and get dressed and take yourself out. Put on your best shoes and hit the town.

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